Girl Scout Cookies

When I was in the 5th grade I was a girl scout. We sold cookies for about 2 weeks. We each got a little carry box, and in that box was an assortment of 12 boxes. We took our best friend and we went door to door and sold cookies. If someone wanted a box you didnt have or more of a certain cookie, you wrote it down. When you got home you called your leader and you got the cookies that wanted and took it back to them the next day. We had an envelope to put the money in and they were 50 cents a box.

That year I sold the most cookies in our troop ... I got a certificate. I sold 75 boxes.

This year I get accosted every time I go to town. Mothers are selling them, sometimes there isnt even a little girl around! They have everything you want... boxes and boxes of them. The girls aren't selling those cookies! Can they even know how many each girl sold?

See after 30 odd years I remember that number and that certificate and the pride of having done it myself....

Do you think this girls will look back in the future and remember that as fondly? Some how I doubt it...

struggling

I guess the way the last blog ended has left such a bad taste in my mouth that I have been hesitant to write much about anything that isnt sunshine and roses.

The last few days have been neither.

For the last few day.... 5-6 I have had shoulder pain. It is muscular, but it brings me to tears.. the act of trying to hold it in a way that doesnt hurt is causing the pain to and muscle pain to spread. Sleep at night isnt easy. I have tried all I can... so I am going to the dr in a few mins.

I love the new medicine.... I DO sleep and I mean deep and if I dream I don't remember. However, I am having almost nightly leg cramps ... my shins, in the calf and thighs. I have done everything that has been suggested.. I am drinking Gatorade, taking supplements .... you all of it... no dice. I can't say it is related to the new med... but it does have a drying effect.

Day before yesterday we put down our oldest dog. She was 16 years old... a lab. The vet said she was ANCIENT. She was on borrowed time, we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it before now. She had heart worms, she was deaf, I don't believe she saw very well. She had those fatty tumors, and arthritis. Tuesday she just wasn't strong enough to hold herself up anymore.

We got her when she was 8 weeks old, we went into a feed store to get a lawn mower blade sharpened and came out with the cutest dog ... she smelled like peppermint! (it was her flea collar) she was a great dog. I can tell you that in her whole life she spent less than a month away from us. I was the last thing she felt, heard or saw as she closed her eyes and went to join our other pets at the rainbow bridge.

I am struggling a little... sadness over Gracie, but also the shoulder pain is exhausting. It is cold and rainy ... so things are harder right now.

I am going to set up blood work for next week.... I am bruising like crazy. I am due for the yearly work up.

So that is it...

All the emotions

I went through old pictures this weekend and scanned many of them. I ran the gamut of emotions. This one of my Granny made me smile.



This one stung by heart just a little. I miss my daddy.

This one made me a little sad, and regretful that things are the way they are. That is my sister Jami.


This one made me smile... my Daddy on the Mississippi River... he was so young and SKINNY! lol


This one makes me wonder.. were my parents ever happy together...


This is Bill and I in high school when we were just dating.... it makes me remember happy times...



This one makes me happy that is Sam at a few days old.


I LOVE this picture.. Daddy and Sam... He worshipped her.




This one made me giggle ... something tells me I spent a good deal of time in that playpen.


These two pictures.... oh ... the make my wonder. When you look at them it looks like my mother just loves me to pieces... and I wonder if she did. I wonder what happened and why things went so very different... I just wonder...

I have to admit that I am a little sad and down after the pictures... I am aware of it and I wont wallow for long I just needed to get it out there.

a lazy sunday

Well the heater started to work yesterday! YAY!

Sam and I baked and drank ... lol she had some sort of raspberry wine, and I had a grape smirnoff which was pretty darn tasty... like a grape soda didn't taste alcohol at all.

We made chocolate chip cookies and another round of peanut butter. We then make tacos for supper and breakfast burritos of the next weeks breakfast.

J and Bill played the 360, and we all watched a movie.

LOL sam and J got to give a couple of very muddy puppies a bath!

Bill caught me and Sam dancing in the kitchen.....lol it is funny...

A day that started out trying ended up being a great day. I have learned and know myself pretty well.. I could have EASILY let yesterday just totally stink... but I made the choice to be happy and have fun.... and I did.

I was wore out at bedtime lol and slept like the dead from 10 to 4 ... then got up a while... cleaned up the house watched an old movie and then went back to bed for ... 2.5 hours I LOVE the medicine and that sleep... so restful and deep...I truly feel better than I have in years.

I may work in the extra room today... it was not on my list of areas to clean as it is were all Bill's stuff is.... but it is a pigsty.

We had some ice and a lot of rain.... so the floor really needs to be mopped but I debate doing it over and over when it is still muddy outside.....

My shoulder is still knotted up... hopefully it will feel better in a while.

So I can't say I have tons planned today... but it is going to be a great day no matter what I decided to do...

I will put up a goofy picture of me.. I figure I owe Sam lol... look me as a blonde .... it later turned reddish brown... odd huh?

A test of patience....

I am glad once again that I have a couple of weeks of doing better behind me as today so far has been.... a challenge.

I was up from 3:30 to 4:30 this morning with a cramp in my shoulder muscle...the one that runs from the neck and across the back of the shoulder.. that was new and quite the experience let me tell you. I am having issues maintaining water in my body... I bought gatorade which I hate.. this morning and I will drink it to take care of my body.

I took the old truck into have it inspected and turned on the wipers to see them just fall apart... so I had to go get new ones. Since I didn't think ... and remember that this is the last sat of the month the line was long... but I am stubborn and waited it out even though it didn't have to be done today. My reward was that they had real heaters in there.. I don't mean these electric jobs I mean FLAMES... I roasted myself like was on a spit! SOMETHING GOOD!

I got home to realize that is was 60 degrees in my house... we are in the middle of a very cold snap. After resetting the breaker and all that good stuff it still didnt work. I thought perhaps it was the thermostat so I drove 25 miles to the local Home Depot to get a new one... came home wired it up and still doesnt work. I now know what is wrong with it and will be ordering it online.... Sadly today it is a high of 33 and a only have space heaters... I don't want to run off and leave the animals in the cold so I will tough it out here. I go have a kerosene heater that will heat pretty good .. but I need a wick and that is 18 miles away at the man mall.

I don't think I can stand another trip out in the cold and tonight will be in the teens. I have plenty of blankets and quilts and animals lol we will huddle.

So I am trying to stay focused today on the good... because it feel like I am being poked with a pitch fork.

The kids are on the way and we will hang out ...

misery

I have worked really hard the last two weeks to pull myself up out of the pit. I have worked on mental, emotional, physical and attitude. I have worked on focus, and outlook. I have made my way to a happy place.

I am glad that I am here because I have come up against my sister. My older sister. She has always been this way... but she has a way of dragging me down...

She is just so "put upon" ... the world is screwing her. She had the worst luck, according to her. She is a constant pity party. No one is as bad off as she is. She just sucks all the happiness and light out of the world around her...

You know it was just a message on facebook... but it just for a few minutes drug me back to the pit....

I recovered in a matter of minutes... I have never thought that world screwed me or anything like that but I was really sad for a while... I saw her in such a bright light... I felt sorry for her. Not so much because of how she viewed life... because she COULD change that. I felt sorry for her because she LIKES it that way, she doesn't want to change or to be happy. That makes me sad.

I always want to be a BETTER me. I want to be the best me I can be...

I don't know... just thinking I guess

My day

In the last week.... coming here and stating my plans and then coming back at night and posting the day has helped pull me up out of the hole I was in. I feel I am so much happier and more stable. I know it is a combo or several things. I am grateful for them all.

Today I went through the house and straightened up and mess and vacuumed, I am telling you I have vacuumed more in the last week than I have in the last 3 months! lol

I cooked today... it was nice. I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, roasted asparagus and peach cobbler. I really have trouble eating meatloaf, so I ate the veggies. My son in law loves my meatloaf and seemed very happy that there were a few pieces left for him to make meatloaf sandwiches. I went all the left overs come with the kids... they will eat it and I won't. It was nice to cook in a clean and well organized kitchen! I loved it.

I bought a new comforter for the bed in my room... the cats seem to like it... lol I put the flannel sheets back on because it is about to turn cold again... ice on Friday. I will be stuck in the house.... and I admit I am a little worried how it will affect me... but I will keep looking for the good and happy things... and if I feel the need to I will post them here. Right now I am in a happy place and see so much good that I don't feel the need to post it.

I wanted to tell you about the asparagus... omg it was so good. My only experiences with it was canned or steamed (the bag you buy with sauce) and I loved those. I had never bought the fresh stuff. I didn't even know what to do with it. E from the room was talking about how she does hers... snap off the ends, wash them, blot dry and put in a gallon baggie. Pour in a little bit of olive oil, fine sea salt, and she did lemon pepper ... I didn't do the lemon pepper. Roll the asparagus around in the baggie until it is all coated... put in a baking dish and bake at 400 for 20 mins.... SO SO GOOD!

Sam and J brought over the sister to my puppy... they are so cute together... it was a herd of dogs.... 5 of them, 2 of them puppies.

My back is still really tender from the moving stuff and cleaning... I am bruised from head to toe as well. I think I need a day of rest. In fact I think that tomorrow I will go through the house and straighten up, then I have to go to town to get the licensed tags for the truck and pick of some meds.... but then I think I am going to be lazy. I think I earned that.

Ok that is an accounting of my day. I think that now I am on solid enough ground that maybe my posts will be most ... from my thoughts on things and less a list of the accomplishments. Thank you all for tossing me a rope to use to climb out with....

Sam.... LMAO