dreary

We have had so many days of rain, snow and just cloudiness that I have seriously forgotten what the sunshine looks like. Right now my yard is a lake. It is cold and gray. Leaving the house is a pain in the butt. Frankly it is depressing. It has been months of this. Last year it rained 1 out of every 3 days.. that isn't counting the days that were merely cloudy with no rain. We are not used to this and I don't think most of us are equipped to handle it.

Trying to housebreak a puppy in this weather is almost impossible. Speaking of impossible... keeping the floors clean.... muddy prints everywhere .. I can wear myself out by mopping every time they go outside or I am live with the mess. After all the hard work to clean the house leaving the floor a mess is trying.... sigh

I am frustrated about my health. I feel like it is starting to slip. I am anemic again... so I take iron supplements ... those make my sick to my stomach... cramping even.... then constipation. So I take a laxative to help with that. I take medicines for allergies that dry me out which causes muscle cramps... so I have to take muscle relaxers for that. It is exhausting, and those are just 2 things... there are others that I won't take the time to tell you.

I feel like after 4 years of this my body is depleted. That any extra vitamins or minerals that I had in stores in my body have been used up.

I need to work on my health. I really do eat healthy. I just don't know what else to do. I have fatigue that is off the charts. The cold makes me want to just sit here by the heater all day.

In the last week I have thrown up 4 times.... eating things that I normally eat... not sure what is going on with that either.....

So today I feel low. It is not my depression, it is just feeling down. There is a difference. Feeling beat down and exhausted. I will admit that I wonder if it is worth it... all the medicines and vitamins and the fighting to keep everything up and working...

Sorry this one is a downer but I needed to get it out.