struggling

I guess the way the last blog ended has left such a bad taste in my mouth that I have been hesitant to write much about anything that isnt sunshine and roses.

The last few days have been neither.

For the last few day.... 5-6 I have had shoulder pain. It is muscular, but it brings me to tears.. the act of trying to hold it in a way that doesnt hurt is causing the pain to and muscle pain to spread. Sleep at night isnt easy. I have tried all I can... so I am going to the dr in a few mins.

I love the new medicine.... I DO sleep and I mean deep and if I dream I don't remember. However, I am having almost nightly leg cramps ... my shins, in the calf and thighs. I have done everything that has been suggested.. I am drinking Gatorade, taking supplements .... you all of it... no dice. I can't say it is related to the new med... but it does have a drying effect.

Day before yesterday we put down our oldest dog. She was 16 years old... a lab. The vet said she was ANCIENT. She was on borrowed time, we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it before now. She had heart worms, she was deaf, I don't believe she saw very well. She had those fatty tumors, and arthritis. Tuesday she just wasn't strong enough to hold herself up anymore.

We got her when she was 8 weeks old, we went into a feed store to get a lawn mower blade sharpened and came out with the cutest dog ... she smelled like peppermint! (it was her flea collar) she was a great dog. I can tell you that in her whole life she spent less than a month away from us. I was the last thing she felt, heard or saw as she closed her eyes and went to join our other pets at the rainbow bridge.

I am struggling a little... sadness over Gracie, but also the shoulder pain is exhausting. It is cold and rainy ... so things are harder right now.

I am going to set up blood work for next week.... I am bruising like crazy. I am due for the yearly work up.

So that is it...